Confident Mom Series Part II: Why it's Important to be a Confident Mom

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Welcome to Part II of the Confident Mom series! I'm glad you're back for more:) Today I want to discuss why exactly it's important to be a confident mom. This hits so close to home for deep in fact that it's a big reason why I started this blog. You see, I struggled with confidence since the tender age of seven when my parents moved us across the country. I struggled to make new friends and my brother and I were the "city kids" to our MT dairy farming cousins. I always felt like I didn't really fit in anywhere, and in an effort to feel accepted, I tried to be anyone but myself; I never thought myself was good enough. I tried to be athletic instead of artistic. I tried to be a tomboy instead of embracing my girly interests. In college I went the science path instead of embracing my creative mind and going with an English or art focused major (huge regret of mine!!). To be painfully honest, it was  only in my early thirties that I began to develop security in who I was and stopped trying to be parts of all the people I thought were better than me. It was so freeing to finally be honest with myself and others about who I was and what I liked, what I was good at, what I wanted to pursue. Because of my insecurity, I made huge, destructive, life-altering mistakes for more than a decade. I partied to fit in. Partying led to other mistakes, and my life spun out of control to the point of eventual rehab. Looking back, every single self-destructive path I took would have been avoided, had I been a confident young woman. It is our job as moms of daughters to raise up our little girls with confidence in who they are; in who God created them to be. Let's get more in depth!

Why is it important to be a confident mom--especially if you have daughters?

In today's world, girls have an insane amount of pressure to live up to some pretty unreasonable expectations, and from such a young, impressionable age! They see the magazine covers while they wait with you in the grocery lines from the time they are itty bitty! The pressure to be thin, flawlessly beautiful, successful, sexy and trendy (all outward, worldly, cheap characteristics)--the pressure begins young. But you, mom, YOU are the one and possibly the only woman in your daughter's life who can teach her the value of inner-beauty and confidence in her worth in Christ. But how do you teach such a deep truth in the face of such lies swirling around in every which direction? By living it. Every. Single. Day.
On purpose.
You are your daughter's hero and the woman she is around more than anyone else, especially in her early years. Your actions and words have a tremendous impact on her belief system about herself.

My fellow mom: By being confident in Christ, confident in the truths we profess, and confident in our abilities/gifts/talents, we encourage our daughters to be who God made them to be rather than a cheap imitation of what the world will forever encourage them to be. We will give them the gift of deeply rooted authenticity. When they see us devoting more time to reading the Word than to fixing our hair; When they see us using our time and energy cheerfully serving others rather than spending our time ladder climbing and wishing for something 'else'; When they see us embracing our talents--painting, writing, creating, leading, serving, cooking, singing...whatever, and enjoying doing it, more than they hear us saying envious words towards those who we are not. I wish I could sing like her; She's such a better cook than me; I wish I was motivated to run marathons like her (then I'd be skinny like her).  When we are confident in our eating habits, our family values, our belief systems, our daily routines, our looks, our body type, our personality, our likes and dislikes--then and only then will we be able to truly teach our girls to be confident in who they are. THIS IS HUGE. I cannot stress enough how important a girl's confidence is and how it will play into her life as a young adult, as she begins to navigate the world without her mom guiding her each day.

A confident girl knows who she is and who/what she believes in.
A confident girl doesn't care what other's think of her.
Not caring what others think of her means resisting peer pressure.
Resisting peer pressure means being authentically herself, because she is secure (confident)enough to love being herself even if it isn't 'cool'.
Loving herself means having a respect for who God made her, and allows her to pursue her God-given dreams, not distracted or deterred by what the world thinks.
All because of you, her confident mama. The one who shined and taught her to shine.

Are you a humble, confident mom to your daughter?
Humble in that you know your weaknesses and aren't afraid to ask for help?
Humble that you know you need Jesus every minute of every day.
Humble that you spend a good amount of precious time on your knees asking Him for help as you do this big, sacred work of mothering?
Yet, confident of who you are? Of who He made you to be? Confident that He has made you the mother of your kids and that you truly are the best mom for them? Confident that you can do this mom thing and do it well with the grace God provides you?

My prayer for you, and for myself, is that we would daily submit ourselves to God, asking Him for help in this task of motherhood, and that our confidence as moms and as women would come from Christ. That we would embrace our gifts and stop envying the gifts of others. That we would shine--to His glory, and that we would teach our girls to shine like stars in the crooked universe.

Join me for Part III in the Confident Mom series! It's going to get fun! We will talk about using our unique personality types--quirks and all--to be the best mom for our kids. Have a terrific Wednesday friends!




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